Monday, 30 December 2013

EMPTY NEST

Extracts from an interview with Eleanor Yap........Editor Ageless P/L



My life before the empty nest was very full and busy , there were years of struggle..... financial , emotional ...but there was always food on our table , clean clothes , and a warm home where friends were welcome.

I have 4 sons......  Marc , Shaun , Paul and Dale .
1. daughter ..Nicole.

I have handled all their departures from home badly and regret my behaviour . Their leaving was made so much worse because I made it all about me ,  it was never my intention  but that is the way it was.
As their mother I made them feel guilty, they left home feeling they had let me down .
I was so scared that my purpose , my worth as a parent as a person was gone . I had lost any idea of who I was as an individual... I only saw myself as a mother .

The departures have all been so dramatic, from telling them to go , just leave  to locking myself in my room sobbing on the floor, had I been an actor I would have won an award but sadly this was real.

Honestly that was not a mothers love it was a mothers fear of facing reality, the future   it was about letting go ,reclaiming my life , finding myself. Like I previously said , it was really about me.

In time I picked up the phone and resumed my relationship with my relocated children, their careers and ventures are so interesting to hear and learn about.

I continued to work , and was still busy , my life filled with other interests .. rekindling my passion for the garden , becoming involved with the preparation of afternoon teas at the Yallourn, Yallourn North footy club , where my son Dale plays footy.
I always cooked , but now I wanted to learn more.....and there is so much to learn from the past, from other cultures , getting others involved , surrounding myself with passionate people .
Reading books on food and people in the industry, about politics and fair trade .
Spreading the word on using the whole of the animal not killing for certain cuts ..all life should be respected.
It was my son Dale who suggested I apply to Masterchef .......It was the most amazing experience , just being invited to the auditions, let alone the phone call to say I had made it to Masterchef Series 5.

Masterchef  was a gift that I afforded  myself because somewhere along the way I realised I will always be a mum  and that it was ok to have dreams and desires . No matter what your age  you have to learn to let go  ..... in my case it was the fear of change .........
I returned from Masterchef  , a confident cook who  wants to learn more and has so much to give.

We all have so much to give , we can change the world especially our own .
Give it a go .
I am not a perfect parent , I never was ...but I do have the best grandchildren.
"The apple never falls far from the tree "

Noelene



 

No comments:

Post a Comment