Saturday, 4 July 2015

HOT AND COLD

Hot and Cold ..it`s the  theme to Masterchef , Australia ..
Just lately the words to the song have  been playing over and over in my mind .
For  me .......life is a set of scales , a real balancing act .
2 years ago , I  successfully applied for Masterchef series 5
Prior to Masterchef and always is  an amazing supportive  family ,  there was a great career in optics and  encouragement from friends to achieve my dream .
My dream was to become a fulltime cook , cooking for people in their homes on special occasions and to run cooking  classes teaching the basic rules of cooking , using fresh ingredients and encouraging healthy eating practices .
I made it to the Masterchef top 10 and because of the show and the support of my family , my dream came true .

Two years on I run a  a successful catering business and have  fully booked cooking classes ....with a waiting list .
I wasn't prepared for the news of a terminal illness for one of my family members ...my husband Ken .
I`m still at the wall that you hit when you get the news ....yes you do what has to be done ....but everything is in a haze .
My husband`s cancer is aggressive and there isn't going to be a lot of time .
I have been with Ken for 20 years , he is the shared dad to my 4 sons and daughter , and poppy to their children .
Now the kids are grown , educated and making their way in the world , this was our time to live life , make our dreams come true .
We were in a great place until 8 weeks ago , the results of a routine blood test changed our lives forever .
I talk to people a lot about healthy food options and teach it in my classes , but now I`m feeding my husband anything that will help him put on weight , the cancer is eating all his nutrition and ken is simply fading away .
I love to cook , to nurture through food but there is nothing I can cook that will save my husband `s life .

Ken can`t walk up or down the stairs without holding the banister for support , he already has palliative care coming in and Jenny his palliative care nurse is a huge support to both of us , next week an occupational therapist will come and see what changes we will need to make to our home for his comfort .
We don`t talk about the future or make plans other than keeping  oncologist and radiation appointments to help with his ever increasing pain .
But in a strange way  the encouragement that Ken and the children gave me to apply for Masterchef two years ago was a gift his plan to make sure my dream came true .
Right now my life our life is a roller coaster  just like the song ..up and down , in and out , hot and cold .




 

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